The Republercoaster National Convention

This is a piece I wrote and read at Vegas on the Mic’s Open Mic Night at Money Plays on Thursday Aug. 30th, 2012. This was my first ever open mic performance, along with another two pieces (one serious, one ridiculous) I have yet to post. Posting this since I don’t think I’ll use it again as it could only really be applicable last week. I’m not really happy with the title but I guess it needs one. Copyright 2012 Jason Nellis.

The Republican National Convention
Has arrived
I have friends that went with the best intentions
Hope they survive
‘Cuz they’re on America’s fiercest battleground
Where the most lizard-tongued with cold blood thrive
But this year hundreds among the elected crowd
Are authentic, fighting for a cause, alive
Unlike most of those inside
The coronation gala to crown the king
The status quo taken on the newest ride
Really just the same old rollercoaster collapsing
Painted a new shade of shiny red shit
But spewing the same old moral excrement
Meanwhile the repairmen are kept at bay
As they shout “turn it off! Step away!”
Watching in horror as the ride approaches a break
In the track mere feet past the peak
Those in line behind the repairmen shout “let them in!”
So the attendant lets them forward up to the gate
As the boss raises the height reuirement to six-foot-ten
And tells the repairmen “sorry, you’re too late”
Johnny with the wrench yells “they’re gonna fall to their death!”
The boss on the bench says “shut up, take a breath
I have it handled, I have God on my side
And I gave a great speech that promised everyone they’d survive”
Tears began to fill the crowd’s eyes
As Randy with the drill came forth
Said “I won’t tell them what you say is lies”
The boss stood up, tipped his conductor’s cap forward
Randy nodded and the boss opened the gate
He ran for the tracks, set up a ladder
As the coaster reached the top, nearing its fate
The others ran in to help, making the boss mad and madder
He had park police run in to tackle them down
But their drive was so strong they shoved the cops to the ground
The boss shouted “security breach! Stop ’em someone!”
Then those on the ride exclaimed “Don’t stop our fun!”
They started stoning the repairmen climbing up
Until a kid saw the break in the track and said, “Oops, we’re fucked”…

But at least we get to take a step back from the trap
And watch the ride
Remember what we’ve always known, that it’s just a ride
And as Bill Hicks also said, we can get off, anytime.

by Jason Nellis


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